By Mary
I once got addicted to computer games and couldn’t get out of it. Now, I will never indulge myself because of games. It was God who changed me, a young addict.
When I first arrived in America, I didn’t know the language and had few friends, feeling that my life was very long and lonely. In order to kill time, I started playing games with my classmates. Gradually, in the games, I found a feeling of stimulation that I had never had. And from then on, I incorrigibly got addicted to gaming.
Every day after I got home, in order to avoid being found by my family, I would say to my aunt: “I’m going to rest, please don’t bother me!” After saying this, I would rush to my room. Before I even put down my schoolbag, I rushed to turn on the computer and log on to my game account, starting the happiest time in a day. Sometimes, when I was having a blast, my family called me to dinner, but I would just pretend not to have heard them. Not until I finished the round did I go out and hurriedly eat the meal. And then I would rush back to my room and continue the next round. … When I raised my head again, it had been two or three o’clock in the morning. Wholly exhausted, I fell asleep immediately.
Since I indulged in games, my academic grades were not important to me. When I first arrived in America, because of my poor command of language, I listened carefully to the teacher in the class, afraid that I would fall behind. But later on, I stopped doing that: In the class, while the teacher wasn’t looking, I would secretly take out my cell phone to play games. Sometimes, as the teacher looked closely, I had to act like I was listening; however, the teacher’s voice was like a lullaby, and soon I unknowingly slumped over on the desk and fell asleep. During the breaks, upon hearing that my classmates chatted about the games they were playing, I would become excited and instantly come up and talk eloquently. In order to upgrade my game, I often asked my family for money to throw it into this bottomless pit. As the level in the game I played increased, my classmates saw me make great progress in skills, so they all looked at me with new eyes. As long as they played games, they would take me with them. For that moment, I became “a hot cake” in their eyes. With the promotion of my reputation, I often couldn’t help feeling proud in my heart: I never thought I could have my days. Not only that, I could often enjoy the joy of victory by frequently defeating others with advanced gear in the games. That kind of feeling was very exciting. I couldn’t help thinking: If only my life could be a virtual game!
My family saw I indulged in games every day and all tried to persuade me to spend less time playing games, but I couldn’t take their word for it. For this, my aunt tried to make me feel guilty: As long as she saw me, she would intentionally sigh and say, “I had thought that after you came to America, I could have someone to speak to, but now you play games every day and never say superfluous words to me.” Every time I heard my aunt say so, my heart would have a little guilt. But when I immersed myself in the world of games again, I soon put my aunt’s words at the back of mind. Afterward, my aunt told my mom, who was in mainland China, about my addiction. After knowing that, my mom was worried about me. Every time she called me, she would try to persuade me to give up playing games and say it was a harmful thing. At her words, I would say impatiently: “I’m old enough. How can you still control me? You don’t know the benefit I can gain from playing games. You know, I don’t go to bars, smoke, or drink; my life in America is so boring. If you don’t even allow me to play games, then what else shall I do?” Mom saw I didn’t listen, so she urged me to read more of God’s words when I had free time. I agreed with my lips, but in my heart, I was thinking about how to level up in my games. Once, when I was playing games, I was interrupted by a call from my mom and, as a result, my victory at hand was won by others. I was very angry and directly hung up on my mom.
Because I often stayed up playing games, my health wasn’t as good as before. Sometimes, in the day time I was in a trance and was lethargic. One time, I played games till late at night and when I went to the bathroom, I suddenly fainted on the floor because I was so exhausted. I clearly remembered that at the very instant before I fainted, I called on God to save me. But after I woke up, I still didn’t repent. I continued to immerse myself in the excitement of games every day. Because of staying up late, my face was covered with pimples. My family told me that it was caused by my irregular schedule. Everyone wants to be good-looking, including me. So, in order to restore my good face, I secretly determined to change my irregular schedule. Just when I was about to change it, I was attracted by the new activities introduced in my game. Should I protect my face or continue playing games? I thought over and over, and finally I decided to save my face through outside help so that I could play games and also becoming beautiful. Therefore, I bought a lot of expensive skin-care products and tried to improve my facial condition, but in the end, it was all useless. … “Let it go! Just focus on playing games. When I am no longer in my adolescence, the pimples will naturally disappear.” I comforted myself.
Because of indulging in games, I had no energy to read God’s word and became further and further away from God. However, God didn’t depart from me. At this time, my elder sister came to my side. She saw that I just shut myself in the room to play games after I came home every day, and that I had an irregular schedule, so she tried to persuade me to spend less time playing games and read more of God’s word in my free time. I just hummed and hawed to brush her off. One day, my sister came to my room and read several passages of God’s word for me, “Though many young people believe in God, they cannot rid themselves of the bad habits of playing computer games and going to Internet cafes. What kinds of things do computer games tend to involve? They contain a great deal of violence. Gaming—that is the realm of the devil. For most, after playing these games for a long time, they cannot do any real work anymore; they no longer want to go to school, or work, or think of their futures, much less do they give thought to their lives. What things now occupy the thoughts and souls of the majority of young people in the world? Eating, drinking, and playing games. Everything they say and think is inhuman. One cannot even use the words ‘dirty’ or ‘evil’ anymore to describe the things they think about; so many of them are non-human things. If you speak to them of matters to do with normal humanity, or discuss a topic concerning normal humanity, they cannot bear to hear about it; they are neither interested nor willing to listen, and as soon as they hear it, they roll their eyes and take unkindly to it. They do not share a common language or common topics with normal mankind, yet when they are with other people like themselves, they find things to talk about. Most of the topics they discuss center around playing games, eating, drinking, and having a good time. Those who always discuss these topics have their hearts filled with such things. What future prospects do they have? Do they have any future prospects? … The devil Satan does these things in order to tempt people and bring them to depravation. Those who live in the virtual world have no interest whatsoever in anything to do with the life of normal humanity; they are just not in the mood to work or study. Their only concern is going to the virtual world, as though they are being enticed by something. Whenever they get bored or are in the midst of doing some proper work, they want to play games instead, and gradually, gaming becomes their whole life. … This evil world uses all manner of methods to attract people who have not seen through the world and the evil trends of humanity; these are particularly seductive to such people.”
My sister fellowshiped to me, “You see how clearly God’s word says: Gaming is a way that Satan entices and corrupts us. Satan just uses games to sap our will little by little, and finally makes us have no interest in anything else. When our mind is completely occupied by games, we are also gradually captured by Satan in this way.” Right! Aren’t these words of God describing me? Since I got addicted to gaming, my schedule became more and more abnormal: I slept in the day and played games at night, and my health also became worse and worse. In addition, I had less and less interest in studying; I had more and more difficulties in communicating with my family, always feeling that they were interfering with my freedom through persuading me to spend less time playing games. Every day, I just immersed myself in games that were filled with fighting and killing, enjoying the sense of success and others’ regard and adoration that games had brought me, and had less and less interest in reality. Sometimes, I also thought that this kind of life was abnormal. But my heart seemed to be out of my control and I always wanted to play games. Just as God’s word says, “As though they are being enticed by something.” It seems that gaming is really a way of Satan enticing and corrupting us. No wonder my mom and sister all persuaded me not to play games. When I thought of this, I was somewhat awakened. I thought of the cases, which were reported many times in the news, that teenagers suddenly died after playing games in Internet cafes throughout several days and nights. I also thought of the situation where I fainted because of staying up to play games. I couldn’t help feeling afraid somewhat, thinking: No. Games are like drugs. Once I sink into it, I will never get out. I must drop them. Games are really too harmful; I can’t play anymore.
To Be Continued …
