In Despair, She Heard God’s Calls
After divorce, Lianxin recuperated at her younger sister’s home. She needed to sleep for 20 hours every day and even couldn’t open her eyes if she slept less thirty minutes than 20 hours. One day, her sister read a passage of God’s word to her when she was awake: “Almighty God, the Head of all things, wields His kingly power from His throne. He rules over the universe and all things and He is guiding us on the whole earth. … Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die” (“The Sixth Utterance” of Utterances and Testimonies of Christ in the Beginning).
God’s words inspired her. She had been treated by doctors for so long, but there was not one who dared to promise that he could cure her illness and even no one could determine her life and death. But God’s word just bears witness that God possesses the authority and power of saving man. Hearing God’s word was like grasping the opportunity of a lifetime, and she rekindled the hope to survive in her heart. She believed in God’s words and believed that God has the power of commanding mankind’s life and death. She accepted God’s work and entrusted her life into God. She became a Christian.
One day, she heard a hymn of God’s word: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time” (“Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs”).
Listening to the graceful and melodic singing, she couldn’t help shedding tears. In that instant, she felt the call of God’s love. God is waiting for man’s heart to awaken and turn back, watching the man He wants to save. She, being still in illness, no longer complained about her miserable life and no longer felt worried about the future. It looked as if a travelling wild goose found its habitat—she felt that her heart landed at a place where it could be laid forever, and there was embraced by God’s love.
Finding the Rebirth and Feeling Elated and Tearful
After believing in God, Lianxin often attended meetings with brothers and sisters, read God’s word and sang songs to praise God. From God’s word she knew that God is the Creator who created the heavens and earth and all things, and also the Master of the laws of all things and the fate of mankind. Man’s birth, family and blessings and disaster are all controlled by God’s hands. As long as we always live in God’s presence and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, God will give us care and protection. So, she prayed to God in her heart: Regardless of whether it was the blessings or the disaster, she would submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. She believed that God is righteous.
In the following days, she put aside her worries about her condition and had a good rest, just letting nature take its course. Yet she obviously felt her health got better and better, and the pain in her body was also lessening little by little. One day, brothers and sisters came to have a meeting at her sister’s home. She helped cook, and she didn’t feel tired after standing for two hours. Since her condition worsened, she had never stood for so long. This made her feel surprised. Afterward, she even went out to preach the gospeltogether with brothers and sisters as if she had forgotten that she was a patient.
A year later, she went to the hospital to have a physical check-up. The result was that her encephalatrophy, uterine fibroid, cerebral arteriosclerosis and stomach illness had been all cured without treatment; and all of the norms of her body miraculously returned to normal.
Walking out the gate of the hospital, looking at the bright blue sky, and feeling the bright and beautiful sunshine, she felt that she herself was really reborn. Not everyone could taste such life experience of narrowly escaping with the death. She had felt God’s love in this experience and had a taste of God’s authority and power, which was far more precious than health. She wept tears again, but this time it was the tears of gratefulness toward God and of joys.
The Knot in Her Heart Was Untied, She Gaining the Relief
After recovering, she often recalled the past. She couldn’t figure out why her husband used to be so heartless to her? Until later, she found the answer in God’ words. The word of God says: “For example, if you ask some evil-doers: ‘Why do you do that?’ They will answer: ‘Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost.’ This one phrase expresses the root of the problem: The logic of Satan has become people’s lives, and no matter what they do, whether it’s for some purpose or other, they are only doing it for themselves. … This statement of Satan’s is precisely its poison, and when internalized by man it becomes man’s nature. Satan’s nature is exposed through this statement; it completely represents it. This poison becomes man’s life and becomes the foundation of his existence; corrupted humanity has been consistently dominated by this for thousands of years” (“How to Take the Path of Peter” in Records of Christ’s Talks).
She understood: It turns out that we mankind all live by the rules of living “Every man for himself, and the devil takes the hindmost” after we were corrupted by Satan, so we all became selfish and base, and we seek nothing but profit and lose the conscience and sense. Previously, the reason why her husband was kind to her was because she could earn money and make the common interest for each other. So, that kindness was not love but merely a transaction. When she was unable to fulfill the deal any more, her husband’s love instantly turned into coldness and heartlessness. And then he abandoned her. Seeing through the fact that Satan corrupted and afflicted mankind, she freed herself from the resentment which she kept recalling. Although she didn’t obtain the love of man, she luckily received God’s salvation and lived under the care and protection of God’s love. She felt more and more at ease.
Repaying God’s Love Is Her Life Wish
Nowadays, Lianxin throws herself wholeheartedly into the ranks of preaching the gospel and testifying of God. She nearly stays with brothers and sisters every day. They entirely open up to each other and walk the path of an honest person; when encountering difficulties, they will help each other; they are tolerant of and patient with each other. In God’s house all men are equal without the distinction of high and low. She has enjoyed the real happiness and joyfulness in the church.
God says: “God’s treatment of each and every person is earnest and responsible, more responsible even than you are to yourself. Is this not so? God does not speak idly, neither does He stand on high putting on airs nor does He make do with fooling people. Instead He is honestly and silently doing the things He Himself needs to do. These things bring blessings, peace and joy to man, they bring man peacefully and happily before the sight of God and into His family and they bring to man the right reason, right thinking, right judgment and the right frame of mind they need to come before God and receive God’s salvation. … There is no deceit in God, no falsity. God is faithful and everything He does is both true and real. He is the only thing that people can count on and the only thing that people can entrust their lives and their all to” (“God Himself, the Unique VI”).
Having walked this path, she has tasted that only God loves mankind most. Before, she had thought that her husband loved her most, and she placed all the happiness and hope of life on her husband, dreaming that they could hold each other’s hands and accompany each other until old age. She never thought that their apparent warm affection didn’t stand the test of her diseases and the previous vows of eternal love were replaced by heartlessness and abandonment. Just when she thought her life had already approached the hopeless situation, God reached out His saving hands to her. God’s words gave her the hope to live and led her all the way till today step by step. If it were not for God’s mercy, who could comfort her badly damaged heart? If it were not for God’s salvation, even if she hadn’t been afflicted to death by diseases, she would have died of pain, despair and depression.
Now, she has found where she belongs, and has nothing more to desire in her life. Life comes from God and surviving the diseases is even more God’s grace. Therefore, her life pursuit is doing her best to preach the gospel and testify to God’s salvation and marvelous deeds so as to repay God’s great love.
