By Fan Lin
God’s Words Roused My Heart and Spirit
One day, when I returned home from work, I opened the book of God’s word and saw the following words, “To give another example, some people especially love to take unfair advantage at the expense of others, and these people seek to fulfill their own interests in everything. Whatever they do must benefit them, or else they will not do it. They do not bother with anything unless it gives them some advantage, and there are ulterior motives behind all their actions. They speak well of anyone who benefits them and exalt anyone who flatters them. Even when their favorites have problems, they will say those people are correct and try hard to cover for and defend them. What nature do such people have? You can completely see their nature clearly based on these behaviors, right? They strive to take unfair advantage through their actions, constantly engaging in transactional behavior in every situation, and you can be certain that their nature is one of wholeheartedly coveting profit. They are out for themselves in everything they do. They will not rise early unless it benefits them to do so; they are the most selfish of people, utterly insatiable, so their nature is demonstrated by their love of profit and lack of any love for the truth. … Therefore, if you want to seek a change in your disposition, then you must know your nature. ‘Rivers and mountains change easily, but altering one’s nature is difficult.’ If one’s nature is too bad, then one will never change, and God will not save that person. Do not assume that nature can be changed” (“How to Know Man’s Nature” in Records of Christ’s Talks). God’s words pierced my heart like a sharp sword, and my satanic ugliness was so thoroughly exposed. It turned out that I was mercenary and loved to take advantage at others’ expense and enjoyed being supplied by others, which was selfish and greedy by nature and was influenced by Satan’s poison “Every man for himself and the devil takes the hindmost.” My living out was evilness before God, was a negative thing and was loathed by God most. God observed the hearts of all men, and saw clearly what evil things men do behind others though nobody knew about them. I felt these words were the warnings from God. I shouldn’t live in sin anymore. I should wake up immediately and repent to God, otherwise I won’t be saved by God. Thinking of this, I felt scared and knelt down to pray to God hurriedly, “Oh God! I’m wrong. Previously, I lived by Satan’s poisons and was loathed by You. Now, I’m willing to repent to You, set aside my greedy desires and become a new person in accordance with Your words’ requirements.”
One afternoon in the winter, all the children except one were picked up by their family members after school. Seeing the child in flimsy pants huddle up and walk back home, a wave of sadness and grief pulsed through me. I felt the child very pitiful and assumed his family must live in poverty. After I went home, I sewed a pair of cotton-padded trousers for him that night and gave it to him the next day. As a result, on Sunday, his parents got a gigot of lamb somewhere and asked him to send it to me. Seeing the gigot, I thought, “The mutton is expensive and I can’t bear to buy it for a long time. I’m itching to take it and nobody will know it. Just this once. I bet it won’t happen again.” Then, I had a second thought: This student’s family is in rather difficult condition. This gigot may be given by others. They don’t bear to eat it, but ask the child to give it to me. How can I take it? I feel uneasy to take it, but I’m reluctant to refuse it. I don’t really know what to do. Then, I prayed to God silently, “Oh, God! You know my flesh is weak at this moment and I’m incapable of overcoming sin. May You lead me to forsake my own greedy desires and carry out Your will in accordance with Your requirements.” After prayer, God’s words rang in my ears, “Today, most people are too afraid to bring their actions before God; while you may deceive His flesh, you cannot deceive His Spirit. Any matter that cannot withstand God’s scrutiny is at odds with the truth, and should be cast aside; to do otherwise is to commit a sin against God” (“God Perfects Those Who Are After His Own Heart” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). At that moment, I felt God, by my side, was observing every word and action of me, as well as the change of my thoughts, and was waiting for me to turn back to Him. God’s words showed me the way to practice. Since I was a believer in God, I couldn’t live by Satan’s corrupt dispositions, taking advantage at others’ expense, and I should forsake Satan and stand testimony for God. So I gave the gigot back to the child’s parents. When I practiced God’s words, I felt assured in my heart. I knew this wasn’t my actual stature. It was God’s words that led me to triumph over the temptation of Satan. Thank God for His protection to me!
Conducting Myself Uprightly and Honorably
The Spring Festival was getting near before I knew it. The teachers took high-grade cigarettes and wines and other gifts to my home. Seeing the gifts they sent, I was not as joyful as before. Because after I believed in God, I understood from God’s words that in accepting other people’s gifts in the past, I lived by Satan’s philosophies of life. It was the corrupt disposition of Satan and was loathed by God. As I understood God’s requirements, I couldn’t do it as before, otherwise I was following Satan to bring shame upon God’s name. Then, I said to my husband, “Every family has its difficulties. We haven’t done much for them, so we shouldn’t accept their gifts. We’d better send them back. Moreover, when we were in a difficult situation and had to give gifts to the leaders before, we hated them from our inner hearts. Now we accept their gifts; won’t they hate us? It is unfair to them.” But my husband said, “You’re so stupid! Don’t you know ‘Power is gained to be used before it’s gone’? We should enjoy when we are in office. There is nothing fair. Such is the modern society. Who will care about us once we are retired?” After hearing my husband’s words, I hesitated slightly and thought them reasonable. I decided to take the gifts. At that moment, God’s words guided me from within: “Do nothing shameful. Be just and honorable in everything you do and ensure that your every action is presentable before God. Although the flesh may sometimes be weak, you must be able to put the interests of God’s family first, without greed for personal profit, and you must be able to act righteously. If you can practice in this way, then your relationship with God will be normal” (“How Is Your Relationship With God?” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words helped me any time I needed and allowed me to understand: I was a person who believed in God, so I should put God’s words into practice when faced with a matter and should place everything in front of God to satisfy Him. I could not seek my personal interests and do those reprehensible things. Thinking of this, I said to my husband, “We believers in God all know God is observing man’s deeds. Taking ill-gotten gains is loathed by God. I fear offending God. Let’s find ways to give back to them.” After hearing my words, my husband had to follow me and then we bought some things to return to them. Previously, in the Spring Festival, I didn’t spend one penny, but my home was piled high with the purchases for the Spring Festival. Although there were few purchases this year, I felt assured and peaceful in living like this, without the former guilty conscience.
Feeling Sweet After Standing Testimony
In a trice, a new semester began. I went to school to do some cleaning and to await the students to register. After a busy day, I was very tired and had a sore back. When arriving at the gate of my home with a waddle, I saw a student’s parent waiting for me. Beside him, there was a four-wheeler, in which many big watermelons were loaded. He saw me back and said, “Teacher Fan, these are the watermelons I grew. They’re very sweet. These are for you.” While saying it, he moved them to my home in bags. At that moment, I ignored my backache and said hypocritically, “You needn’t do that. Thank you!” I began to carry the watermelons involuntarily. When I put down the watermelons, I felt the pain of my back became intense. I realized immediately that it was not pleasing to God and that as a believer in God, I shouldn’t take advantage at others’ expense. I hastened to repent to God silently, “Dear God! I know I’m wrong. I’m willing to repent. May You continue to lead and enlighten me!” After my prayer, I thought of God’s words, “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God” (“Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words aroused my numb heart and let me know the will of God. I should stand testimony. I should neither have Satan’s schemes succeeded nor live by Satan’s poisons any longer. I should live by God’s words. Thinking of this, I saw that the student’s parent had unloaded the watermelons and was ready to go. He said, “Please help arrange the seat of my child in the front row.” I said, “Take it easy. I’ll arrange the seat for your child. Today, I accept the watermelons you give, but I need to pay you money. You shall take the money.” He said, “The watermelons are for you. No charge.” I said, “Absolutely not. The heaven is watching what man is doing. I can’t take advantage at your expense. You’d better get the money.” As I made it clear, he had to get the money and went away. At that moment, my back didn’t ache, and I feel relaxed and happy. I knew I couldn’t stand firm by myself. It was God’s words that gave me strength continually, helping me triumph over the greedy desires of the flesh. God was the One I could depend on at any time.
Feeling Assured and Peaceful by Living in Accordance With God’s Words
Ever since I believed in God and was guided by God’s words, I haven’t been so greedy for money and haven’t taken advantage of others as before. I ever arranged for the children, whose parents didn’t give gifts to me, to sit in the last row and usually rebuked them. Now I treat every child equally. In order to protect their eyes from harm, I get their seats exchanged once a week, so that each of them has the opportunity to sit in the front row. I treat them as my own children: playing games with them after class and telling them stories surrounded by them. I pass every single day with them happily.
Through my step-by-step experiences, I feel that only God can save man from sin’s deep abyss, and free man from Satan’s bondage. Only if we come before God, behave ourselves in accordance with the requirements of God’s words, can we enjoy true peace and joy and our conscience and reason can be restored. Now I have the right life goals and directions and live in the blessings of God! Thank God!
The End.
Part One: The Transformation of a Teacher (I)
