My Mother Repreached the Gospel to Me but I Still Failed to Accept the Fact that the Lord Has Come Again
Such a fellowship of my mother’s left me unable to refute her. But my notions kept emerging. I said at once, “Since Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus, it is the same whether I call Him Lord Jesus or Almighty God. They are the one God who bestows grace upon me.” My mother said, “Jehovah, the Lord Jesus, and Almighty God are one God, which is absolutely true. But we should understand such a truth. God works on man and bestows blessings upon man according to His name of that age. For example, in the Age of Law, God worked under the name of Jehovah. As long as man prayed to Jehovah God and held on to this name, God would answer his prayer and bestow blessings upon him. In the Age of Grace, God worked under the name of Jesus. At that time, man should pray in the name of the Lord Jesus. If he didn’t pray in the name of the Lord Jesus, he wouldn’t be approved by God. Those Israelites called upon the name of Jehovah in the temple and didn’t accept the name of the Lord Jesus, so they lost God’s presence. Similarly, now is the Age of Kingdom. God works under the name of Almighty God. So, only if we call upon the name of Almighty God can we be approved by God and receive the work of the Holy Spirit. You cling to the name of the Lord Jesus. In substance, you’re believing in the three words ‘the Lord Jesus.’ Your belief is in name only and an empty egg shell. Just as the Bible says, ‘… you have a name that you live, and are dead’ (Revelation 3:1). Now the Spirit of the Lord Jesus is incarnated and works under the name of Almighty God. Our belief in Almighty God is actually belief in the Spirit of the Lord Jesus. And we’re believing in the Lord Jesus in substance by accepting, obeying, and following Almighty God. Can’t you discern it?”
Despite that I felt what my mother communicated was very reasonable and practical, I couldn’t drop the name of the Lord Jesus and accepted the name of Almighty God. This was because the Lord had granted me much grace, He had steered me to where I was then, and I couldn’t break my promise to Him.
After I Went Back to U.S., the Church Situation Pained and Puzzled Me
After my return to the United States, the busy studies and fast-paced life soon pulled me back to the fleshly world. Although the words of Almighty God I read in the summer vacation were not rooted in my heart, yet I had been unable to be satisfied by the preachings given by the pastors in both Chinese churches and Western churches since then. This was because their sermons were not at all original, as they sang the same old tunes and repeated past sermons. The church life was dull and tedious. In order to keep their flocks, the co-workers often organized trips for us to take, made merry, held parties, and so on. There were a variety of people in the church. They didn’t attend church out of thirst for the truth, but for the purpose of looking for boyfriends or girlfriends, roommates, travel companions, meal pals and other worldly pursuits. Seeing that the church was no longer the place of rest for me, I felt pain and sorrow. Gradually, I didn’t attend the meetings. I lost my direction and muddled along like a rootless child.
Feeding My Son Made Me Feel Incompetent for the First Time
My son was born in 2014 but I didn’t have any milk at all. Lack of milk for my child sharpened the conflict between my husband and me. The first thing he said every day after returning from work was, “Why do you still have no milk? Without breast milk, our son’s immunity will go down.” It was the first time that I felt incompetent and completely unqualified to be a mother. I tried Western medicine, Chinese medicine and folk prescriptions from the Internet. But none of them could help me have milk to feed my son. I felt sorrow, distress and resentment and was on the verge of collapse. Had it continued, I would have become crazy. During the postpartum rest period, I almost cried my eyes out and I couldn’t figure it out. I often felt nameless panic and didn’t want to talk with others. Even when I heard words associated with breast-feeding, I would break down and cry loudly, unable to control myself.
I Opened My Heart Quietly When the Gospel of the Lord’s Return Came Upon Me for the Third Time
Knowing my predicament, my mother came to America to take care of me. When she knew my distress, she said to me, “Have you thought about why your life becomes increasingly dark and painful? Because you claim to believe in God but don’t seek the truth to know God and even resist God’s work. As you’re unwilling to cooperate with God to break through Satan’s snare, you can only be trapped in it and become more and more distressed.” My mother’s words left me in silence. In the days that followed, when my baby was asleep, my mother would play some hymns of God’s word for me. A wonderful thing happened. My heart calmed down gradually as I listened to the hymns. Once, I heard the hymn “The Sorrow of Corrupt Mankind” say, “… man’s heart and spirit are too distant from God. Therefore, while man is following God, he is playing the role of Satan’s servant. He never perceives this. No one takes initiative to seek out the footsteps of God or the appearance of God. No one wishes to exist and live in the care and keeping of God. But they choose the corrosion of Satan and the evil one to adapt and get used to this world and to adjust themselves to the rules of life followed by the wicked mankind. At this point, the heart and spirit of man turn to gifts man offers to Satan. Man’s heart and spirit turn to food of Satan, even the place where it resides, and a playground for it. In this way, man unknowingly loses his principles of how to be human. And he doesn’t know any more the worth and purpose of why he exists. God’s laws and the covenant between God and man fade away gradually in man’s heart. Man no longer seeks or pays heed to God, no longer seeks or pays heed to God. As time passes, man no longer understands why God created man, nor does he understand the words from God or realize all that is from God. Man begins to resist the laws of God and the decrees from God; the heart of man and the spirit of man, the heart and spirit of man become numb. … God loses the man He originally created, and man loses the root of his beginning. This is the sorrow of this mankind.” Every sentence of God’s words pierced my heart. I saw that I acknowledged God’s name with my mouth but actually my heart was completely occupied by Satan. What I thought about were fleshly things, what I pursued was also the flesh, and what I walked was the way of the world. The Bible says, “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:6). “… know you not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4). What I did was not after God’s heart at all but ran in the opposite direction to God. I came before God to pray, “O God! Today such a circumstance befalls me because I value those worldly things, such as education, status, and romance, to the extent that I don’t know to cherish the truth You’ve lain before me again and again. I heard about Your coming to do a new work but I was opinionated and judged blindly and wasn’t willing to spend time and effort seeking the truth. O God, I was totally wrong. If You give me another opportunity, I’ll investigate Your work carefully.” During that period, I didn’t know whether such a prayer would be heard by God, but I still often prayed to God like that.
After Returning to China, I Accepted the Lord Jesus’ Second Coming Gladly
On account of my ill health, I followed my mother back to China in April of 2015. Thus, I had an opportunity to come into contact with the Church of Almighty God. Thinking of the fact that I didn’t get happiness after the struggle in the world or find a cure in religion for my heart’s darkness and emptiness, I had a strong hunch that Almighty God, whom I had been rejecting, might be the Savior Jesus, who helped me get admitted to my college and go to the USA. I told my mother that I intended to take part in the church life of the Church of Almighty God. Before long, the brothers and sisters in the Church of Almighty God came to have meetings with me. I saw that what they read were God’s words, and what they fellowshiped and practiced were the truth. No matter what they did, they took God’s words as criteria and regarded the truth as principles. Their deeds were completely ruled by the truth and were not tainted with the flesh or early rules. There, I was supplied and sated in the spirit. And I was no longer empty within and had a feeling of fulfillment.
One day when I was in a meeting with the brothers and sisters in the Church of Almighty God, Sister Wang read a passage of God’s words, “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a ‘father.’ You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along” (“The Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). These God’s words deeply touched my heart. I felt that Almighty God was calling out to the children who were lost like a loving mother, expecting them to come back to Him soon. I recognized that it is the Lord’s voice, that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus, who helped tide me over until I found Him. He never left me, but was calling out to me every day and eagerly expecting me to turn around. In retrospect, I was too deeply deceived by Satan. Though I believed in God, I didn’t seek the truth but believed the rumors on the Internet rather than God’s words. I rejected God’s salvation, yet clasped the enemy to my bosom and even stood beside them to slander and attack God, who cared for me day and night. I believed in God by conceptions and imaginations. When God’s name changed, I didn’t recognize Him, but rejected His salvation for me over and over again. Was I believing in God? Wasn’t I believing in myself? God gave me love but I punctured His heart and hurt Him again and again. I had been indebted to God immensely.
I couldn’t help kneeling down to pray with bitter tears, “O God! Before I was blind and ignorant. I believed the rumors of the CCP and the religious world, rejected and condemned You, and delimited You with my imaginations and conceptions. I’m a contemporary Pharisee. In light of my sins, I should have been destroyed with Satan. However, owing to Your love for me, You didn’t punish me according to the sins I had committed but gave me opportunities to know You. Today, I’m willing to come before You to truly repent my sins like the people of Nineveh in sackcloth and ashes. May You show mercy on me! I’m willing to cooperate with You and accept the purification of Your words.”
Walk on the Right Way of Life
Afterward, the brothers and sisters in the Church of Almighty God came to have meetings with me every week, which lasted for over four months without interruption. During that period of time, I would read several passages of God’s words almost every day. As I understood more and more truths, my relationship with God became more and more normal and my original faith recovered. I felt secure and peaceful, no longer sorrowful and desolate. Through reading Almighty God’s words, having meetings and fellowshiping about the truth, I was made certain about God’s work in the last days and saw that Almighty God is the Lord Jesus I had been yearning for. I made up my mind: “I’m willing to follow Almighty God to the end, be a person who pursues the truth, abandon the path of the worldly and walk the right way of life. Thank God for once redeeming me and now coming to express the words to purify me. Thanks and praises be to God! All the glory goes to Almighty God!”
I Became a Christian in the Church of Almighty God in North America
I went back to the USA in 2016. Through the gospel website of the Church of Almighty God, I got in touch with my brothers and sisters. After confirming that I was a true Christian in Almighty God, the Church arranged for me to live the church life. Thanks be to God! God has led me to today step by step and He has not treated me according to my disobedience and resistance. I wish to devote all my effort to God’s gospel work, so that more Christians will know that Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus.
Brothers and sisters, please do not follow in my footsteps. Following Satan to resist God and blindly believing its rumors will only make you the one who suffers a loss in the end.
