Jing Xin
Most of my clients speak English, and in order to keep my job, I need to improve my English. In fact, I also want to learn English well, so that I can evangelize to foreigners. Therefore, I threw myself into learning English. I prayed to God at first, but after hearing that learning English needs more practices of listening, reading, writing, and speaking, I spent more time on them, and praying became a routine. My mind was occupied with how to learn English, and when we read God’s words in the gatherings, pictures of learning English would flash through my mind. I couldn’t quiet my heart, even thinking that reading God’s word and having gatherings would waste my time of learning English. Even though I had spent much time on the learning process, the effect was weak, and the more I learned it, the more boring it got. I wondered: I do pray to God, but why can’t I feel if God is guiding me?
During one gathering, I told the brothers and sisters about my anguish of learning English, a sister read to me the words of God: “When praying, you must have a heart that is quiet before God, and you must have a sincere heart. You are truly communing and praying with God—you must not try to wheedle God with nice-sounding words” (“Concerning the Practice of Prayer”).
“Sometimes, looking to God does not mean asking God to do something using specific words, or asking Him for specific guidance or protection. Rather, it is that when people encounter some issue, they are able to call on Him sincerely. So, what is God doing there when people call on Him? When someone’s heart stirs and they have this thought: ‘Oh God, I can’t do this myself, I don’t know how to do it, and I feel weak and negative…,’ when these thoughts arise in them, does God not know about it? When these thoughts arise in people, are their hearts sincere? When they call on God sincerely in this way, does God assent to help them? Despite the fact that they may not have spoken a word, they show sincerity, and so God assents to help them. When someone encounters an especially thorny difficulty, when they have no one to turn to, and when they feel particularly helpless, they put their only hope in God. What are their prayers like? What is their state of mind? Are they sincere? Is there any adulteration at that time? It is only when you trust God as though He were the last straw that you clutch onto to save your life, hoping that He will help you, that your heart is sincere. Though you may not have said much, your heart has already stirred. That is, you give your sincere heart to God, and God listens. When God listens, He sees your difficulties, and He will enlighten you, guide you, and help you” (“Believers Must Begin by Seeing Through the World’s Evil Trends”).
The sister continued to fellowship: “Although we pray to God when we have difficulty, but all we do is just say something on the lips, and our heart doesn’t stir. We do not quiet our heart before God to truly rely on God, and naturally we still rely on ourselves, thinking that many things need our efforts. As a result, we distance ourselves from God in the process, accomplish nothing, and have to accept failures. God searches our heart, and if we treat prayer as a case of going through the formalities and don’t open our heart, God will not hear our prayers, because God wants our sincere heart. If we pray when we truly regard God as the only One we can rely on, the only Savior, realizing that we can’t accomplish anything without Him, God will hear our prayers, guide our way, and help us.”
After listening to the sister’s reading of God’s words and her communication, I felt my heart bright and clear and realized that for the sake of learning English I had forgotten about God and thought reading God’s word and having gatherings ate into my learning time. When I had trouble in learning English, I even complained to God for thinking He didn’t guide me. But the truth is that I didn’t put sincere efforts to rely on God, nor did I fully entrust my English learning to God, only having prayed to God on the lips. In my heart, I still felt that only by paying more time and price could I learn English well, so I focused all my efforts to learning practices, which made me have no heart to attend the gatherings and suffer losses in my life. Look how foolish and rebellious I was for failing to rely on God and instead even complaining to Him.
Afterward, sister Wendy saw me and said that when she first met me two months ago, she felt I was slow, but now she found I became quicker and smarter and had lots of improvement on my English. At that time, I sincerely offered my gratitude and praise to God, because it is God who has given me intelligence, wisdom, and blessings. May all glory to God!
From my two experiences, I truly felt that the greatest wisdom is to rely on God and look to God in all things, which is also the wisest choice for us to make, because with the guidance of God, we will not feel tired and will have less worries in mind. Now in my daily life, no matter what difficulties I have, I will always come before God to pray and rely on Him, believing that God will help me and guide me. I feel I am living with blissfulness and it’s so good to have God in my life! I still remember that for a time, I lived in a noisy environment and my daily spiritual devotion got affected, but it’s not easy to find a place that is cheap and quiet, I was very worried about it. I prayed to God again and again, wished God to open up a path for me. After praying for some time, I found a quiet and cheap place. When I saw my another difficulty was solved, I truly felt that: Relying on God is always right!
The End.
Part One: Sincerely Depending on God in All Things Is the Wise Choice (I)
