By Yangwang
I got up very early in the morning as usual. When I opened the window of my bedroom the fresh air blew toward me, and I felt carefree and happy. I began my spiritual devotions with joy, turning over the pages in the book of God’s words and reading, “‘Belief in God’ means believing that there is a God; this is the simplest concept as regards believing in God. What’s more, believing that there is a God is not the same as truly believing in God; rather, it is a kind of simple faith with strong religious overtones. True faith in God means the following: On the basis of the belief that God holds sovereignty over all things, one experiences His words and His work, purges one’s corrupt disposition, satisfies the will of God, and comes to know God. Only a journey of this kind may be called ‘faith in God.’” After reading these words, I was filled with strong emotions. Recalling some events in my life, I felt God had led me to experience His words and helped me learn to rely on and look up to Him in all things, and had given me some knowledge and appreciation of His almightiness and reality.
One afternoon, my husband suddenly called me and told me that he’d lost his job. After hearing the news, I got worried, because he always did his job well and he had a good salary. So why did he lose the job? And how were we to maintain our standard of living, repay the mortgage every month and pay our child’s tuition fees? Did I need to find a job to support us? But I knew that nowadays it was not easy to find a job, and I had not worked for a long time. No experience, but with a child—who would want to employ me? I felt very upset as soon as I thought about this clutch of problems which were going to come. All day I was in one of my black moods, and did not want to talk with my husband. I even screamed at my child to do his homework and housework. I thought that my husband’s losing his job was the greatest difficulty we’d faced as a family. The life of poverty we might face often came into my mind, and I was so worried and scared that I wanted to solve the issue as soon as possible.
Two days later, I told a sister my husband had lost his job and about my concerns. The sister said, “All things and events are controlled by God. We believe that nothing is impossible for God. We should seek and pray to Him more, entrusting the matter of finding a job to Him. If He has prepared something for us, He will bless and lead us. If not, we also should learn to obey Him and wait.” Then she sent a passage of fellowshiping to me, “Nothing is too difficult for God. If you rely on God and desire to solve difficulties with a true heart, the Holy Spirit will certainly inspire you and make you understand. So you should have faith in God. If you don’t rely on God but rely on yourself, you will solve the problems slowly and many things will be easily delayed.” After reading this fellowshiping, I gradually calmed down and gained the support my heart needed. I resolved to commit my difficulties to God and accepted His orchestrations and arrangements with an obedient heart. So I prayed to God, “O God! How should I face such a situation? I think I need a job, but I lack faith because I will face many difficulties, and what’s more, I don’t want to lose the chance to attend meetings with the brothers and sisters. O God! I’d like to commit my difficulties to You. May You lead and guide me. No matter what situations I will encounter in future, I will learn to rely on and obey You.”
Two days later, my younger sister helped me to apply for a job as a designer in an interior design company. At that time, I was worried that nobody would employ me because I needed to take my 4-year-old child to work with me. My husband also did not agree with me having an outside job. I was hesitant about it, and lacked the courage to apply for the job. Then, God’s words suddenly came to me, “It is very simple now: Look upon Me with your heart, and your spirit will immediately grow strong. You will have a path to practice, and I will guide your every step. My word shall be revealed to you at all times and in all places. No matter where or when, or how adverse the environment is, I will make you see clearly, and My heart shall be revealed to you if you look to Me with yours; in this manner, you will run down the road ahead and never lose your way.” God’s words allowed me to understand that whatever environments I encounter, God will lead me as long as I look up to Him. After praying, I plucked up the courage to call the boss. I was very happy that he asked me to have an interview, feeling God had listened to my prayer. On the way to the company in my car, I prayed to God unceasingly, and asked Him to guide me through the experience. No matter what the result was, I was willing to obey it.
I met the boss, we talked about our own qualifications and requirements, and soon we reached an agreement. To my great surprise, the boss agreed readily that I could go to work with my child. Moreover, the job was very relaxing: I worked for eight hours a day as a secretary, and the environment was very good. And I was able to attend church meetings. Family, work and meeting times were all under my control. Seeing that what God had arranged for me was really beyond anything I’d imagined and my heart was filled with thanks and praise to God.
What happened next made me see the wonder in God’s deeds even more. One day in March 2017, my child suddenly got a high fever. I was very anxious, so I quickly prayed to God and entrusted him into God’s hands. On the second day, I took him to see a doctor. The doctor said he had a fever and just needed to take some antipyretic medicine. However, a few days later, my child still had the fever. I went to the clinic again, but this time the doctor told me he needed to have a blood test and might have dengue fever. After hearing that, I got very scared. Dengue fever was capable of decreasing the volume of blood platelets and the patient could bleed unceasingly if they got cut. The more I thought about that, the messier my heart was and the more I felt scared. At this point, I thought I should have faith in God. So I prayed to God silently, “O God! Disease has befallen my child. I feel bad and am so worried about him, but I don’t understand what Your desire is. I know You are almighty, God, but I lack faith in You. May You give me faith and strength so that I can overcome the weakness of my flesh. I’m willing to entrust my child into Your hands. May You keep and care for him.”
After prayer, I thought of God’s words, “Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things.” From God’s words, I understood that all living and lifeless things change according to the thoughts of God. God is the Creator, and He rules and commands all things. I should have the right attitude to face such a crisis, and shouldn’t make demands of God but learn to obey Him instead. Although I was not sure if my child had dengue fever, I still should rely on and look up to God because his fate was in God’s hands. Afterward, the blood tests indicated that my child had thrombocytopenia. The doctor needed to continually draw blood to make sure whether his platelets were normal or not. At first, I accepted the doctor’s proposal that we would take a blood test every other day. However, my child’s blood test reports were abnormal for several days. And when the doctor drew blood, I saw he had difficulties finding a suitable place to take blood. He tried a few places, but he couldn’t draw any blood. Seeing the pain reflected in my child’s face and the sound of his sobbing, I felt my heart breaking. I could only call on God in my heart, and submit the matter to God.
In the following days, although the doctor had found the source of my child’s symptom of illness he said the platelet disease could not be cured. My child would have to stay in hospital if his platelet indices decreased to an abnormal level. The doctor’s words made me somewhat worried, so I prayed: “O God! What should I do? May You quiet my heart. I know all things and events are in Your hands. May You reveal Your will to me and lead me by Your words.” Then I recalled God’s words, “All things under God’s arrangements and sovereignty obey natural laws, and if you resolve to let God arrange and dictate everything for you, you should learn to wait, you should learn to seek, and you should learn to submit. This is the attitude every person who wants to submit to God’s authority must adopt.” I understood God’s will. God not only was asking me to pray and rely on Him, but also was teaching me to learn to seek and obey His sovereignty. The doctor said there was no medicine for the disease, but I could learn to seek according to God’s words. God’s work needs people’s cooperation. When we fall ill, we still should seek appropriate methods according to natural rules. As to when my child would recover from his disease, it was controlled by God. So I tried to look for information about his disease on the Internet. Finally, I found a folk prescription that was convenient and easy. Then I wrote it down and used it step by step on my child. Later, in the afternoon, I took him to have a blood test in the hospital. Seeing the report, the doctor said with wonder, “How come your child’s platelet indices are normal? It’s amazing!” Hearing the doctor saying, “it is amazing,” I was moved. I knew it was God’s wonderful action and God’s love coming upon me. At the same time, I also understood that whatever environment we encounter, we should have faith in God. We will surely see God’s guidance as long as we rely on and look up to God with confidence.
Through experiencing God’s words and God’s work on me in a real crisis, I came to know that God is almighty and practical. As long as we pray to, wait, seek and obey God, He will make a way out for us. On my future path of believing in God, no matter what environment I encounter, I will rely on and look up to Him and appreciate everything He arranges, experience His words and His work with my heart so that I can know Him and walk on the way of true belief in God.
