By Li Min
When I was a child, I had high regard for teachers. After graduation from senior high school, I got my wish and became a teacher in a private primary school, and then I made a firm resolution: Children are the flowers of our motherland. I must educate them carefully to make them pillars of the state when they grow up, lest I should bring disgrace on the sacred title of “the engineer of the human soul.”
When working as a teacher, at the beginning, I gave the excellent students more encouragement and also helped the poor students with their lessons patiently. It surprised me that my class ranked last in the exam. I felt very dismayed and thought: In the last six months, I taught assiduously and conscientiously, but why did my class do so badly in the exam? As I could find out no way, a close colleague had a heart-to-heart talk with me: “You should treat these students harshly. Spare the rod and spoil the child. So, if they can’t get good scores, you should punish them and give them some pressure. Gradually their scores will be improved.” I was astonished at these words. And I thought: The responsibility of a teacher is to teach and nurture people. In order to improve the students’ exam results, a teacher puts pressure on them and punishes them, then does he have professional ethics? But considering that I have just entered into this profession and the competition was so fierce, if the exam results of my class always stayed in the last place, I can’t teach at this school. For the sake of my career prospects, I tried to accept my colleague’s “experience” after turning this matter over and over in my mind.
At first, I didn’t have the heart to mete out physical punishment to them. Over time, my conscience became dull. Thus, I often asked disobedient students to remain standing in the playground; When they got up to mischief, I pulled their ears or spanked them; If they didn’t hand in homework, I would ask them to copy the homework for many times and stand on the platform; Sometimes I called their parents to teach them. As a result, those students behaved themselves in my class and everyone feared me and treated me with great respect. After six months, their exam results rose from the last to third from last. It seemed that my colleague’s method was effective.
Afterward, their exam scores rose rapidly and ranked among the best always. Meanwhile, I was assessed as an advanced teacher for many times. Ten years later, I was promoted to teach in a public school. Soon I was transferred from a rural school to an urban one. I saw my colleagues there also educated students by meting out corporal punishment to them. Civilized teaching didn’t exist at all. In addition, for improving exam scores, those teachers arranged the seats painstakingly by matching outstanding students with slow students before exams. Furthermore, they put pressure on the outstanding students by requiring them to “help” slow students. Teachers told those outstanding students, “if the slow students do poorly in exams and affect the total scores of the class, you will lose your opportunity of being assessed as excellence.” Additionally, teachers also instilled into their students the idea that “Fullness for the bold, famine for the timid.” Besides, they told them to seize every chance to copy other’s and those who could get high scores by copying were proved to be really capable. Even those students who didn’t normally hand in their homework could get over eighty scores in the exam in the end. In this way, not only would the students and their parents be happy, but teachers would also be happier. The headmaster knew it in his gut and everyone had a tacit understanding. Only by seeing this did I know that the teaching method was the same in rural places and urban areas. It was indeed true that “All crows under the sun are black,” and “Exams are the most effective method for teachers and scores are the lifeblood to students.” In order that I could stay at the school, I promptly followed their teaching method.
Before long, some students of our school were sent back to school by policemen because they climbed onto the moving train, including a student in my class. Contrary to my expectations, after coming back, this boy bickered with other students and then they fought with each other. Moreover, he took a knife and intended to revenge them. If it were not caught timely, the consequence would be unpredictable; When holding sport competitions, the school, advocating the slogan, “Friendship comes first and competition second,” intended to enhance the friendship among students. To my surprise, the students of my class voluntarily organized together, shouting the slogan wantonly, “Defeat the other class firmly!” That raised a strife between two classes. In addition, a girl envied another girl’s good grades. They usually attacked, abused and fought with each other so that their parents fell out with each other too, which left a shadow on their young mind. … I was lost in thought after seeing all these matters: Are these “fruits of education” come out through my “careful” education over these years? “Teaching and nurturing people,” how sacred duty it is! “A teacher is an engineer of the human soul.” What a glorious title it is! But what did I bring to these children? How could I educate them well? I felt confused.
When I was at a loss, my relative preached God’s kingdom gospel to me. Through reading God’s words and living the church life, my heart came to be attracted by His words. One day, I saw God’s words: “There is an enormous secret in your heart. You never know it there because you have been living in a world without light shining. Your heart and your spirit have been taken away by the evil one. Your eyes are covered by darkness; you cannot see the sun in the sky, nor the twinkling star in the night. Your ears are clogged with deceptive words and you hear not the thunderous voice of Jehovah, nor the sound of the rushing waters from the throne. You have lost everything that should have belonged to you and everything that the Almighty bestowed upon you. You have entered an endless sea of bitterness, with no strength of a rescue, no hope of survival, left only to struggle and to bustle about. … From that moment, you are doomed to be afflicted by the evil one, kept far away from the blessings of the Almighty, out of reach of the provisions of the Almighty, and you embark on a road of no return. A million calls can hardly rouse your heart and your spirit. You sleep deeply in the hands of the evil one, who has lured you into the boundless realm, with no direction, with no road signs. Henceforth, you have lost your original purity, innocence, and started to hide from the care of the Almighty.” God’s words lit up my heart like a lamp, through which I saw I have been corrupted by Satan and lost my direction. I thought: When I started to be a teacher, in conformity with the sacred duty of a teacher, I did my part with a sense of responsibility and had a clear conscience. However, facing the fierce competition, in order to remain as a teacher in the school, I went against my conscience at any cost, carrying out corporal punishment. In consequence, those students were scared of me just like mice met a cat. During examinations, I encouraged them to cheat, instilled them the thoughts “Fullness for the bold, famine for the timid,” and “The fittest will survive.” Consequently, they were wrecked both physically and mentally. However, if I had not been awakened by God’s words, I would have still educated them in an immoral way, which would hurt these naive and innocent children. Realizing this, I prayed to God, “O God, I will no longer follow Satan. Please guide and lead me, so that I can live under Your protection and care.”
One day, I read these words of God, “In your seeking, you have too many individual notions, hopes, and futures. The current work is in order to deal with your desire for status and your extravagant desires. The hopes, the desire for status, and the notions are all classic representations of satanic disposition. The reason that these things exist in people’s hearts is entirely because Satan’s poison is always corroding people’s thoughts, and people are always unable to shake off these temptations from Satan. They are living in the midst of sin yet do not believe it to be sin. … For many years, the thoughts that people have relied upon for their survival have been corroding their hearts to the point that they have become treacherous, cowardly, and despicable. Not only do they lack willpower and resolve, but they have also become greedy, arrogant, and willful. They are utterly lacking any resolve that transcends the self, and even more, they don’t have a bit of courage to shake off the strictures of these dark influences.” From these words, I came to realize: Over these years, for the purpose of saving face and preserving my standing, I kept working hard and acting unscrupulously, hoping to gain a foothold in the education world and other’s admiration. I have been actually driven by the thoughts of Satan, “People want to move up as water has to flow down,” and “Stand out from others and pursue to stand high among people.” When I pursue fame, gain and status, I have been taken captive by Satan and become a servant of them, betraying my conscience to teach and living in pain. This is exactly the contemptible means by which Satan corrupted man. I made my resolution to get rid of these wrong view points and no longer willing to be used by Satan.
Afterward, I voluntarily made apologies to my students in class: “Dear students, I only knew to treat you rudely in the past. I am sorry. Now, I hope you can supervise me. If you find I do something wrong in the future, please tell me and I will change.” After saying this, I felt a sense of release. Then they all looked at me in amazement, and whispered: “What’s wrong with our teacher today? Even her tone has changed. Does she really mean that? …” After a while, the monitor incredibly stood up and asked me, “Miss Li, won’t you punish us any longer?” I nodded with a smile. Then they made some proposals, “Miss Li, I think you are a little partial, please pay more attention to us.” “Miss Li, if something happens in school, please solve it in school and don’t tell our parents.” Hearing the low students were willing to speak, I felt very gratified. It seemed that the relationship between us was closer suddenly. It was all due to God’s guidance. Thank God! Thereafter, when seeing me, they greeted me actively and they became attentive in class; after class, my appearance wouldn’t put a sudden stop to their laughter; some slow students actively found me for making up missed lessons and asked me questions. Moreover, some helped me fetch water when I was watering flowers in the schoolyard. … Their small changes made me feel pleased for practicing the truth.
Afterward, a student who came from other place transferred to our school. He was so mischievous that other teachers were not willing to take him. Finally, the principal put him in my class. However, in class, he left classroom whenever he wanted to; after class, he often made troubles and fought with low-grade students. As a result, some students, teachers and even some parents of other students came to me to make complaints about him. When I tried to talk with him about these things, he was not convinced at all. At that time, I was at the end of my patience. Again, I intended to punish him, but I remembered the hymn of God’s words “The Practical God Saves Men in Obscurity” I used to croon. I realized that: God is the Creator and He is so supreme. Although we have disobeyed and opposed Him for many times, He still uses His word to remind, exhort, support and provide us, waiting for us to turn to Him. I am just a small creature, why can’t I treat students with love and patience? Thereupon, I forsook myself and went on helping him with love. However, not a little did he restrain himself, instead, he was even more in opposition to me, which made me lose my patience completely. I thought: Before you came, my class was a good one. It is your coming that makes a terrible mess of this class. You have ruined our reputation. I, the head-teacher of the class, will have no face to meet anyone if I let your insolence go! Hence, I planned to punish him by copying homework for a whole day without going home for meals. When I was about to exercise the authority of a teacher, a passage of God’s words came to my mind, “Now when some matter comes upon people, regardless of what the actual situation is, they think that they can do this and that, but God is not in their hearts, and they do it according to their own intentions. Regardless of whether the course of action is suitable or not, or whether it is in accordance with truth or not, they only stiffen their necks and act according to their personal intentions. It usually seems that God is in their hearts, but when they do things, God is not in their hearts. … Actually, people are not really seeking God and praying to God about this. They are not striving to do it well to satisfy God’s will, nor striving to do it well according to His requirements. They do not have this true situation, and they don’t have such desire. This is the greatest error people make in their practice, because you believe in God, but God is not in your heart. How is this not a sin? How is this not deceiving yourself? What effect will believing this way have? Where is the practical significance in believing in God?” The judgment and chastisement of God’s words promptly enlightened me. I used to declare before God that I would like to practice the truth. However, when I found the student was difficult to manage, I didn’t bring the problem before God to pray for it or to seek God’s will, nor did I find the way of practice in His word. Instead, I acted according to my personal intentions. My faith in God was in words only, and I would gain nothing in the end. Immediately, I prayed to God, “O God! A naughty boy transferred to my class. May You keep my heart to obey this environment. Please keep me from doing things by satanic disposition in the position of teacher any longer. As for that boy, whether he will change or not and to what extent can his view will change, they are all in Your hands. I’m willing to rely on You and commit him to You.”
After my prayer, I saw God’s word, “Normal humanity includes these aspects: insight, sense, conscience, and character. If you can achieve normality in each of these respects, your humanity is up to standard.” After reading these words, I began to examine my past behavior. Before, I treated my students as different categories. I always praised those outstanding students, rewarded and encouraged them. Yet those slow students always got physical punishment, which made them more depressed and caused them to be fed up with study in the end. All these were the evil I had done. Wasn’t I even possessed of a normal humanity at the very least? After realizing these, when I encountered that boy, I didn’t think he opposed me on purpose, but though God would perfect me to live out normal humanity through him. I would like to forsake myself and treat him fairly.
Later on, I often came to chat with him. At first, he was reluctant to contact with me. I persuaded him many times, but he still kept silent. My patience wore thin. When I was about to give up talking with him and leave him alone, a passage of words in “Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life” crossed my mind: “Everyone wants to practice love, coordination with others, forgiveness, patience, tolerance, but they fail; Each of us would like to care about others, love and help them, it is harder to practice. It is because people are deeply corrupted by Satan, isn’t it? It is because people are deeply corrupted by Satan, are full of satanic poisons and much hatred exists in man’s flesh.” According to this passage of fellowship, I was just aware that I was deeply corrupted by Satan. I could be tolerant and patient with students temporarily, but not perseveringly. I found I didn’t possess a normal humanity. How could I, in this way, establish a normal relationship with students? So I made a resolution inwardly: Whatever his attitude toward me is, I shall treat him with love. After that, I prayed to God and relied on Him for many times; under the guidance of Him, I came to talk with him again. Gradually he was willing to talk with me what was in his heart and his attitude toward me also changed.
Afterward, I often invited those naughty children of my class over on weekends. I helped them make up lessons, cooked for them and talked with them, through which I came to know why they were naughty: On the one hand, their parents were not by their side for a long time; on the other hand, their relatives didn’t care about them; in addition, teachers and their classmates often discriminated against them at school. As a result, their spirits were downtrodden. In order to comfort themselves, they made troubles by design, hoping to draw the attention of their parents and teachers. Knowing their inner voice, I thanked God in my heart unceasingly. If I had not had heart-to-heart talks with them and still employed my previous education method, I would have made them more and more oppressed and wouldn’t have been able to educate them well. From then on, through my care and guidance over and over again, the naughtiest boy seldom cursed or fought with others. What’s more, he was willing to join in the activities of our class and could finish his homework actively. Once, he had a private conservation with me of his own accord after a class meeting, which moved me most. He said he wanted to take revenge on one of his classmates and he had hidden a dagger in the woods. Inspired by the class meeting, he determined to give up that revenge. Besides, he gave the dagger to me for safekeeping, hoping that I could forgive him. Seeing his changes, I had greater confidence to rely on God to educate these children.
One day, I saw God’s words: “Today I have come to do the work of your salvation, which is to say that the work I do is a continuation of the work of salvation. Every person has the chance to be made perfect: Provided that you are willing, provided that you pursue, in the end you will be able to achieve the effects, and not one of you will be forsaken. If you are of poor caliber, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your poor caliber; if you are of high caliber, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your high caliber; if you are ignorant and illiterate, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your illiteracy; if you are literate, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your level of literacy; if you are elderly, My requirements of you will be in accordance with your age; … I want everyone to catch up, want everyone to have the work and the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, and be able to obey to the very end, because this is the duty that each of you should perform. When you have all performed your duty, you will all have been made perfect, you will also have resounding testimony.” The work God does varies from individual to individual and His requirements of us are in accordance with our caliber and stature, instead of imposing uniformity in all cases. God is really righteous! Later on, I began to practice His words. I arranged activities for my students according to their specialties as well as hobbies to stimulate their learning interest and increase their sense of collective honor and cohesion. Some were fond of literature and art, they would be arranged to publicity team of literature and art, and this team members would be in charge of all the related activities of our class; Some were interested in PE, they would be arranged to PE team; Some were good at painting, I arranged they into painting team, and so on. I allowed them to make the best of their advantages. When I didn’t force my personal ideas on them, their learning interest gradually improved and they had some changes in ideology and morality. The student, who once climbed on a moving train, was in charge of sports activities. He not only could give full play to his expertise, but bring forward some suggestions on who was good at long-distance running and who was good at high jump and so on. According to his arrangement, we trained the students in accordance with their advantages, our class won the prizes in every item in PE at last. What’s more, when he found his classmates quarrel and fight with others or make troubles, he would persuade them and mediate these matters in no time. No matter what good ideas he had in all aspects of work, he would communicate with me actively. Through discussion, we would work out some measures. Who would have thought that he became my capable assistant. Once, I was ill and didn’t take the class. To my surprise, he called some of his classmates to see me.
Before the graduation examination, I didn’t encourage my students to cheat. But I felt a little bit worried: This is a crucial exam and it directly related to my students’ entering a higher school as well as my reputation in our school. I thought: If they fail in this exam, how will others think of me? After that, I saw God’s words, “In truth, there are many matters in which man, if he devotes just the slightest effort, can put the truth into practice and thereby satisfy God. The heart of man is constantly possessed by demons and so he cannot act for the sake of God. Rather, he constantly journeys to and fro for the flesh, and profits nothing in the end. It is for these reasons that man has constant troubles and afflictions. Are these not the torments of Satan? Is this not corruption of the flesh? You should not fool God by only paying lip service. Rather, you must take tangible action. Do not fool yourself; what is the meaning in that? What can you gain by living for the sake of your flesh and toiling for fame and fortune?” Through the judgment and chastisement of God’s word, I realized that I was pursuing fame and position. Then, I prayed to God for many times and asked Him to protect my heart; I committed this exam into His hands and didn’t want to be restrained by fame and position. Before the exam, I encouraged my students: “Don’t be restrained by scores. Just try your best. You shouldn’t cheat in exams any more. Never lose heart if you fail. And I will help you with your lessons after that.” I never expected that our class still ranked high in the exam. After the graduation ceremony, my students would leave our school. I would never forget the affectionate care between these students and me.
Now, there is a qualitative change in my teaching. I deeply felt that when I taught by Satan’s philosophies of life in the past, I was tired and my students were fed up with me. When I relied on God and practiced the truth, I saw God’s blessings. Not only did my students can help each other truly, but we built a true relationship. I felt the peace and comfort that I have never had before. Afterward, some parents asked to send their children to my class so that they can be at ease. I know this is the result achieved by the work of God. And it makes me gain more confidence to rely on God to educate children.
I have truly tasted the sweetness of practicing God’s words and felt the preciousness of God’s words through my experience. God says, “Only if one knows God and has the truth does he live in the light; and only when his view of the world and his view of life change does he change fundamentally. When he has a life goal and comports himself according to the truth; when he absolutely submits to God and lives by God’s word; when he feels assured and brightened deep in his soul; when his heart is free of darkness; and when he lives completely freely and unrestrained in God’s presence—only then does he live a true human life and become a person possessing truth. Besides, all the truths you have are from God’s word and from God Himself. The Ruler of the entire universe and all things—God Most High—approves of you, as a real man living the true human life. What could be more meaningful than God’s approval? Such is a person who has the truth.” Only the truth can bring us the right path of life and only by coming before God and comporting ourselves according to His words can we live out a real life. Living under the domain of Satan and living by the life view and the life philosophies come from Satan will make us eviler and be less and less humane. I thank God for leading me to walk onto the right path of human life from the bottom of my heart. All the glory be to God!
