By Zhao Lin
After graduating from technical school, I was assigned to work in a good unit by many years of the connections on my parents. My job was with little work, managing the material warehouse. Because there were many articles stored in the warehouse, I thought: I should do my duty and can’t make the benefit of my unit be compromised. However, I gradually found that this job was not as simple as I imagined. In the warehouse, there were many good things that could be for home use, such as articles for labor protection, office supplies and household daily necessities. Our leaders took these articles to their homes without polite demurral, and even directly took them in batches for gift-giving without telling me. I thought what they did was wrong, yet I could only hold my tongue with pent-up indignation, for they were my leaders. Afterward, I saw other workmates not only took the articles for their own use, but sent them as gifts to others. Furthermore, they often told me: “‘Use power when you have it, because after it’s gone, you can’t use it,’ ‘It’s free, why not take it?’” In addition, they watched out for me on ordinary days. As time passed, I followed the crowd. I, with an easy conscience, not only took the articles to my home; I also sent some to my workmates. On account of my “sociableness,” my workmates got on well with me. Later, on the basis of the viewpoint “It’s free, why not take it?” sometimes I directly took home the addition to the account; if my family had no use for them, I would give them away. Then as long as I saw the articles that could be used in my house, I would expend much thought on finding various reasons to get them. With the lapse of time, I became increasingly greedy, and as it did, my trouble grew more.
For the sake of balancing the accounts, I was always forced to falsify accounts to deceive those above me and delude those below me. Every time the superior leaders came to check up on work, I had my heart in my boots for fear of being found out. So long as the new “good things” were warehoused, both the leader and the second-in-command wanted to appropriate some; whomever I gave them to, it would not match the account, for which I had to take the blame. Moreover, these things were too valuable and I could not afford to pay. Thus, I had no choice but to maintain the status quo very cautiously. By degrees, the job brought me only vexations. I felt especially depressed at work. Only after I returned home from work could I feel at ease.
In 1995, I was fortunate to believe in God. Through reading God’s words, I realized that the God whom I believe in is the One who created heavens and earth and all things, that is, the Creator. He presides over and predestines the laws of all things, and administers and supplies all things, as well as rules over the fate of humankind. He is the God of eternal life, the only true God. After believing in God, I went back and forth to the office normally every day and attended meetings regularly every week. My life was methodical. However, there was one thing and I dared not bring it before God all the time. Whenever I saw the things useful to me in the warehouse, I couldn’t help wanting to get them. So every time I prayed to God, I would consciously avoid mentioning it.
One day, when checking stock, I found there were some glass containers which weren’t entered in the account. Thinking these containers could serve in many purposes, I wanted to take them away after knock-off. Yet, during that time, our unit checked strictly, so I could not take them directly. Then I put them into my cabinet and wanted to take them when our unit was lax. Unexpectedly, the leader made an inspection without prior notice on that day. When he saw the containers in my cabinet, he asked me, “Why do you put them in your cabinet?” I bit the bullet and said, “They aren’t entered in the account. If I put them in the warehouse, they will be found out when the superior leaders come to check. So I put them here temporarily.” He continued, “But if so, you can’t put them all in your cabinet. You want them for your own use, don’t you?” I pretended to be calm and denied that. Because of having a guilty conscience, my face was hot with shame after I said that, and I was so embarrassed that I dared not lift my head to see others in the office. After he left, I thought to myself: He has never checked our office cabinets. It’s strange that I had no sooner put them into my cabinet than he came to check.
After that, God enlightened me to remember, “If the speech and conduct of a believer is always as casual and unrestrained as an unbeliever, then this believer is even more evil than the unbeliever; they are a typical demon.” The words like a sharp sword directly pierced my heart. I had never been aware that it was so serious to steal from the unit. Seeing my workmates doing that, I was used to. But today, the leader suddenly came to check the cabinets; this contains God’s good purpose. It was my actions that couldn’t be brought before God and had brought His disgust. A man who is truly after God’s will brings before God all that he does, every action, every intent, every reaction, and even every mind and thought, and accepts God’s observation. By contrast, what I did couldn’t be laid bare. People don’t know, but God knows! Today these stealthy things were completely exposed to the light. I felt ashamed and guilt. Thinking about this, I should practice in accordance with God’s word, “do not do shameful things. Be just and honorable when doing all things and make them presentable before God.” Thus, I made a resolution to God, “O God, I know that the leader came to check today was from You. It was You who stopped my steps of doing evil through my leader. Now, I am willing to act according to Your requirements and accept Your observation. I won’t do anything disgraceful.” After my prayer, when I replaced the containers in the warehouse, I felt very secure and peaceful in my heart. When I prayed afresh to God, I was able to open up my heart and say something to Him from my heart. I finally could live out some likeness of a real man before God. Thanks be to God!
Once when I inventoried the stock at the end of the month, there were over twenty more towels. My workmate said, “Don’t tell the leader. Let’s split them.” I came to realize: This is the scheme of Satan. Satan wants to tempt me into continuing to sin and offend God. I can never fall into its trap. I will act according to God’s words, living out integrity and dignity. I certainly shouldn’t knowingly do wrong and lose my integrity and dignity. Therefore, I flatly refused her suggestion. However, in such a post, even though I had a resolution to live as a believer, the temptation was indeed too great. On one occasion, my father fitted up his house, needing some paint, paintbrushes, coating, and so on. I thought: If I bought them, I needed to spend a lot of money. There were some ready-made articles in my unit. Dominated by the ideas and viewpoints “Use power when you have it, because after it’s gone, you can’t use it,” and “It’s free, why not take it?” I thought: Won’t I lose too much, if I don’t take them? Just then, I remembered that stealing things is what God detests. If I knowingly did wrong, I would offend God’s disposition. At the thought of this, I decided to buy these things for my parents instead of encouraging my greedy nature. After practicing in this way, I felt a sense of release in my heart and didn’t feel guilty any longer.
Under the guidance of God, after experiencing in this way several times, I thought I would not covet the things of the unit. But later, I found that as some good things were warehoused, I still was somewhat shaken. I considered: These things belong to the public property. Since they can be taken for free, aren’t I foolish not to take some? Maybe, I could take less. Every time there was a battle in my heart and I seemed to be drawn by a rope. Now that I had known stealing things is what God detests, why were my thoughts still impure? Then I prayed to God and asked Him to lead me to understand this aspect of the truth. Later on, God guided me to read His words, “Man’s satanic nature has a great deal of philosophy contained within it. Sometimes you yourself are not clear, but you are living based on that every moment. You think that it’s very correct, very reasonable, and not mistaken. Satan’s philosophy becomes man’s truth, and people live in complete accordance with its philosophy without the slightest contradiction. Therefore, man is always and everywhere revealing Satan’s nature in life, and is always living by a satanic philosophy. Satan’s nature is man’s life.” After reading these words, I recalled that I lived under the environment of being concerned with our own interests from childhood, so Satan’s poison of “It’s free, why not take it” had been deeply rooted in my heart. My father worked in a hospital. My family had never registered when seeing a doctor and we took medicine for free; my relatives and friends also benefited from it. These things were commonplace to me. I was neither surprised nor ashamed, but instead deemed that they were the things which made others think highly of us and envy us. The life of having connections and money is pursued and held in high esteem in present society. For this reason, I always believed that I was a fortunate person who had a good job. Now, I showed my true colors under the judgment of God’s words. These “good things” that I was proud of showed that I was so greedy, selfish and despicable. I had never thought that under the corruption of Satan, my points of view had long ago been distorted and became completely incompatible with God. Hence, God arranged environments time and again to transform and correct my measure of right and wrong, good and evil. For so long, I had always lived by the poisons of Satan; that is, “Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost” and “He who can take advantage of others but does not is a bastard.” In order to seek personal gain, I had lost the sense of a normal person. For me, taking and possessing things for free became reasonable. In my eyes, stealing and coveting things were normal phenomena. Influenced by these thoughts, I lived in Satan’s bondage, losing my conscience and sense. Had God’s words not led me, I would not have known to what extent I would sink. From then on, when good things were put in storage, I didn’t want to take them from my heart, and was no longer proud but rather ashamed of it. I really tasted God’s salvation of me. I was unwilling to enjoy the pleasures of sin and let God loathe me. I set my mind on being a new man!
Another time, a manufacturer delivered motorcar spare parts and the leader let me inspect and approve them. When I saw the spare parts were used, I thought to myself: Since he can bring the parts, he surely has a special relationship with the leader. If I don’t inspect and approve them, he will tell on me before the leader. Then how can I account to my leader? Thinking it over, I resolved on acting according to God’s words. No matter how others would think of me, satisfying God should come first. Thus, I told him, “The spare parts you deliver are furbished up. Once they cause an accident, I’m afraid that I could not bear the responsibility.” Afterward, he didn’t give up hope, came to my office and said that he would give me a leather handbag and ask me to dinner; I refused him. Then, I met my leader on my own initiative, told him the whole story and stated my attitude. To my surprise, instead of being angry with me, he said that I was not greedy and that there were few of such character now. I tasted the sweetness in practicing the truth. As it turned out, practicing the truth is so good, which can satisfy God and others.
Later, my leader saw I dealt seriously with my work and had a sense of responsibility, so he gave some important work to me and meanwhile let me manage several warehouses more. He said he had confidence in me. This result countered my imagination. I thought if I had not lived by the satanic poisons or wallowed in the mire with them, I definitely would be ostracized by them, and it would be impossible for me to stay at the unit and secure a place among them. But out of my expectation, when I put God’s words into practice, I not merely retrieved my integrity and dignity, but also was put in an important position by my leader and gained the esteem of my workmates. I sincerely experienced that when we live by God’s words, the more we walk on the path, the wider and smoother it becomes. Today, I am able to behave myself like a real man does. This is entirely the result attained through God’s work. Thank God! All the glory be to God!
