By Fengzhu
Suqi was born into a not rich family and there were other four brothers and sisters within. However, only her father earned money to support the family. When she was in primary school, she envied the wealthy family’s children because they had better food and clothing than her. Later, finding that those elder brothers and sisters in her village who got into university and got a good job were respectable in the presence of others, she felt more envious. Therefore, she determined to put everything she had into her studies in order to test into a famous university, so that she could have good prospects and change the present life condition. After that, she was studying from early morning till late at night. From primary to high school, she always got the best grades and was the class cadre, so she often got the approval of her teachers and classmates. When she was in junior high school, the state would recruit a group of students to the secondary specialized school. Some classmates applied, but she didn’t. No one persuaded her because everyone believed that Suqi would get into a top university, and it was not worthwhile for her to enter a secondary specialized school. And that was what Suqi thought too.
The first year of high school passed in the blink of an eye. Suqi entered the key high school as the first place in the art class. After Suqi transferred to the new school, she determined in her heart that she must study hard to get into an elite university. Then, like many classmates, Suqi had full confidence and shuttled back and forth among classroom, accommodation and canteen every day. But gradually, Suqi found that her grades were not as good as before. She tossed and turned in bed and could not fall asleep, thinking: If the grades are always like this, the result of the University Entrance Examination will not be optimistic; if I fail to pass, the prospects will look bleak; it is necessary to exert more efforts and I must not fail. From then on, she studied harder than before, but things turned out contrary to her wishes. No matter how hard she studied, the grades were without any improvement, but even were dropping. She was feeling stressed. Suqi thought: I’ve never had any problems in studies before, but what’s happening to me now? The more she thought about it, the dizzier she felt, and She tossed and turned in bed and could not fall asleep. She fell ill under such pressures. Then she went to see the doctor, but she didn’t get better after taking some medicine. At the end of the semester, she took part in the University Entrance Examination.
During her anxious waiting, the results came out. Suqi came to school with a nervous heart on that day. However, she was shocked when she saw that her score was three marks lower than the passing score. Standing before the list, looking at those names in the top of the list and seeing those classmates’ proud eyes, she had mixed and inexplicable feelings: Do I narrowly miss my chance to receive a higher education? Could this be the result of my efforts for these ten years? At that time, Suqi kept thinking: I have paied and suffered a lot in these years; my parents economized and stinted themselves to give me a university education; how disappointed they will be after they know my grades. At that time, Suqi dared not think more. She was feeling weak and her mind turned to mush. However, those classmates who got a good score were discussing happily, and their faces beaming with a smile. Seeing their proud expression, Suqi thought that the prospects of them would be bright, but hers were opposite. She didn’t know how to face the future life? With these thoughts in her mind, Suqi was in no mood for greeting teachers and classmates and headed for the bus station. When she arrived back home and saw her mother, her heart was occupied by self-blame and pain, and tears pooled up in her eyes. She said nothing because she didn’t know how to tell her mother about the result. Then, unwilling to face anyone, she shut herself in the room, with her eyes full of tears.
After that, smile disappeared from Suqi’s face. She believed that since she failed in the University Entrance Examination, there was no way out for the future life. People often say, “To be a scholar is to be at the top of society,” which means only study can make people have good prospects, be worshiped and be looked up to. However, her ten years’ hard study was for nothing, So she lost life direction and goals and her heart seemed to be dead. Within the next several years, she often dreamed the scenes that she tested into college and was walking in the campus. She would feel a sharp pain especially when she saw or heard that someone was admitted to university or a unit, or someone got a nice job after graduating. She often examined her conscience that why all of her efforts were in vain.
Suqi was in anguish and unable to find the answers all the time. After many years, her friend gave her a book and she saw this paragraph: “Some people apply themselves diligently to their studies, yet narrowly miss all their chances to receive a higher education, and seem fated never to achieve success, their very first aspiration in the journey of their lives dissolving into thin air. Not knowing whether the road ahead is smooth or rocky, they feel for the first time how full of variables human destiny is, and so regard life with hope and dread. … People’s desires are so perfect, but when people take their first steps in the journey of their lives, they gradually come to realize how imperfect human destiny is, and for the first time they truly grasp the fact that, though one can make bold plans for one’s future, though one may harbor audacious fantasies, no one has the ability or the power to realize his or her own dreams, no one is in a position to control his or her own future” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). After reading these words, Suqi understood that why she studied hard but finally missed the chance to receive a higher education and that why she was living in an extremely agony and couldn’t put it aside for many years when her first aspiration in the journey of her lives dissolved into thin air. It is because she failed to understand that one’s fate, future, job and marriage all are in the Creator’s hands and arranged by Him. Suqi arranged her fate so perfectly. She wanted to rely on knowledge to change her fate, and rely on her own exertion to fight and strive to live the life she desired. However, the Lord of Creation has arranged her life course and no matter how she strives, the Creator’s authority cannot be bypassed. Through reading these words, she understood that the view of relying on knowledge to change her fate is incorrect. Everyone’s life is not controlled by himself but is in God’s hands. The reason why the failure in the College Entrance Examination caused her much suffering is because she was vying against the Creator’s authority.
Then she saw another passage: “During the process of man’s learning of knowledge, Satan will employ any method so people satisfy their own lusts and realize their own ideals. Are you clear on exactly what road Satan wants to lead you to? Putting it mildly, people think there is nothing wrong with learning knowledge, that it is the natural course. They think that to foster lofty ideals or to have ambitions is just called having aspirations, and that this should be the right road for people to follow in life. If people can realize their own ideals, or make a go of a career in life—is it not more glorious to live that way? To not only honor one’s ancestors in that way but to also leave one’s mark on history—is this not a good thing? This is a good and proper thing in the eyes of worldly people. Does Satan, however, with its sinister motives, take people to this kind of road and then decide it is done? Certainly not. In fact, no matter how lofty man’s ideals are, no matter how realistic man’s desires are or how proper they may be, all that man wants to achieve, all that man seeks for is inextricably linked with two words. These two words are vitally important to the life of every person, and these are things Satan intends to instill in man. Which two words are these? One is ‘fame’ and one is ‘gain’: They are fame and gain. Satan uses a very subtle kind of way, a way very much in concert with people’s notions; it is not any kind of radical way. In the midst of unawareness, people come to accept Satan’s way of living, its rules of living, establishing life goals and their direction in life, and in doing so they also unknowingly come to have ideals in life. No matter how high-sounding these ideals in life seem, they are just a pretext that is inextricably linked to fame and gain. … So after Satan has led people to the road of fame and gain, is it still possible for them to believe in God, to worship Him? (No, it is not.) Do the knowledge and rules for living instilled in man by Satan contain any thought of worshiping God? Do they hold any thought that belongs to the truth? (No, they do not.) Do they contain any reality of fearing God and shunning evil? (No, they do not.) You seem to speak a little uncertainly, but no matter. Seek out the truth in all things and you will get the right answers; only with the right answers can you then walk the right road” (God Himself, the Unique VI). After reading these words, Suqi understood that it is Satan that uses fame and gain to control her and makes her believe that only by attaining fame and gain can she live with confidence and win others’ admiration. So, in order to attain fame and gain as well as to break free from the miserable life in her childhood, Suqi began to live by Satan’s toxin “To be a scholar is to be at the top of society.” She believed that: Only knowledge could change her fate; only a high degree could help her get a good job and live the life she desired. Therefore, she was led by this poison uncontrollably and she regarded getting knowledge and degree as her life direction and target, and as the path to achieve fame and gain. Suqi set her life goal and direction under this wrong view imbued with by Satan. Thus, she had applied herself diligently to her studies for over ten years. No matter how bitter cold and scorching hot it was or no matter how late she stayed up to study, she never gave up her ideal of getting good prospects through obtaining a high degree. She reposed all her hope in studies and regarded being admitted to university as the only path to change her fate. So, Suqi completely collapsed when those things dissolved into thin air. In fact, many people around her also applied themselves diligently to their studies to get knowledge and to test into college. When the result turned out contrary to their wishes, they even chose to end their young lives because they could not bear the depression of failing to fulfill their dreams. Although Suqi didn’t choose to end her life, the failure of the University Entrance Examination became the pain in her heart. She lived in agony and didn’t know what to do for many years. Wasn’t Suqi also one of the victims? Isn’t it Satan’s means that hoodwinks and torments humanity? It is this poison that makes humanity go against fate and even lose their lives. It can be seen that Satan uses this sugar coated bullet to lure people one step at a time into a nest of devils.
Suqi suddenly saw the light, and all those years’ suffering and depression had disappeared. She realized that God controls her fate. And there is God’s good intentions behind her failure in the University Entrance Examination. Due to God’s protection, she suffered less pain of seeking fame and gain, which is God’s grace. In the past, Suqi admired those classmates who got into university, and thought that they would become excellent and live a superior life in the future. Now, Suqi came before the Lord of Creation, enjoying the watering and shepherding of God’s words. Now shehas understood some truth and realized that it is empty to pursue fame and gain. The true meaning and value of life are not pursuing fame and gain, or changing fate with knowledge, but coming before the Lord of Creation to know Him and worship Him. The most meaningful life is to perform the duty of a creature of God for repaying the Creator’s love, to live under God’s care and to be delivered from the harm of Satan. Nowadays, Suqi lives by God’s words, submitting to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and accepting His salvation. She feels genuine gratitude and praise for God and His salvation in her heart. At that time, Suqi recognizes that only by submitting to the Creator’s sovereignty and predestination will she be able to live a relaxed and happy life and to feel enriched and enlightened in her heart. Otherwise, she will never have joy.That is because life course is predestined by God. Currently, Suqi feels that she is the happiest one in the world. All the glory be to God!
