By Jin Wei
Failing to find a job as a tour guide, I proposed trying others first. Afterward, I was introduced to have an interview with a men’s boutique in a large supermarket by a good friend. When filling in the form, I even dared not write that I was a college graduate, fearing to face others’ strange looks. Nevertheless, as English was required, I had to fill in my real educational level. Just when the shopkeeper called to have me work there, my mom told me that the foster grandson of my grandpa, who was a department manager of a great hotel in the county, asked me to be the lobby manager there. Therefore, I refused the job in the boutique. Unexpectedly, when I arrived, they arranged me to the bar of the recreational department. When seeing a girl working there was seductively dressed, with a cigarette in her mouth, I was quite unsettled. And later, a staff who took me to be trained in the hotel told me that this department was the place where the rich found prostitutes, and my job was to pour water for the guests and take them to the gaffer. The staff also said that a girl, who worked at the bar before, prostituted herself when she found it very profitable. The more I heard, the more frightened I was. When realizing that it was inadvisable to stay there any longer, I told the staff that I might return after some consideration. I was so scared that I ran home immediately. Due to all sorts of accidental mishaps like this, I found no job all along.
Completely discouraged, and exhausted both mentally and physically, I took up my mom’s book of God’s word. I saw God says, “In any case, all I wish is for man to understand this: Without the care, keeping, and provision of God, man cannot receive all that he was meant to receive, no matter how diligently he tries or how arduously he struggles. Without the supply of life from God, man loses the sense of value in living and the sense of the meaning of life” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). Not until I saw these words of God did I know that God was fighting against my imagination with the facts. From the moment I chose my college major to this period of time when I was frustrated in finding jobs, I’ve experienced that our human fate is indeed controlled by the hands of God, and neither can we have good prospects by mastering knowledge and skills, nor can we change the status quo through our own efforts. Thinking of these years, through hard work, I gained both the diploma and work experience yet failed to find a job anyway. However, a classmate of mine, though ordinary-looking and not having conducted tours for even a single day, had become a regular courier of a well-known travel agency during her internship in senior year. At first, I always thought that she could get the job simply because her uncle was teaching in a college, while I couldn’t because my family had no power or influence. Now by reading God’s words, I realized: Once we man leave God and do everything on our own, we will not gain His leading or blessings, but will only end up with failure. The life path of each man has long been predestined by God, and through people, events, and things, God accomplishes His will, making each of us walk our path of life in accordance with the course determined by Him. Only God can give us good prospects and a wonderful destination, so only when we act according to God’s will can we live out a significant life. At this moment, I was fully convinced and aware that if I continued fighting against fate, which was to say, fighting against God, then what I would bring myself finally were only endless sufferings.
Then I returned to the Church, resumed my church life, and performed my duty as I could. It was so fantastic that on the night when I came back to the Church, the insomnia torturing me all the time was miraculously gone. From then on, I stayed with brothers and sisters, feeling incomparably released and free inside. The long-lost smile again came to my face and my mental outlook became better and better. I particularly thank God in my heart for His salvation. And I have truly experienced that God is the source of man’s life, and we man cannot live without God’s provision and salvation. Just as God says, “If you separate yourself from today’s chastisement and judgment, what is it that you will meet with? Do you think that once separated from the present judgment, you will be able to escape from this difficult life? Is it not true that if you leave ‘this place,’ what you will encounter is painful torment or cruel abuses inflicted by the devil? Might you encounter unendurable days and nights? Do you think that just because you escape this judgment today, you can forever evade that future torture? What will come your way? Can it really be the Shangri-La that you hope for?” (“The Inside Truth of the Work of Conquest (1)”). If it had not been for God’s watching by my side all along, and orchestrating the surroundings to awaken my numb heart, I would still have been living under Satan’s affliction and suffering unspeakably and would consequently be devoured by it. Thanks be to God for saving me and watching me by my side, without leaving or forsaking. I will follow Him forever and pursue a meaningful life.
The End.
Part One: Ever-present Love (I)
