By Yang Chen
A Difficult Decision—Resignation
Through a period of attending meetings and reading God’s words, I felt an incomparable security and peace within myself and sensed that the life under the outpouring of God’s words was the happiest. In real life, however, I was still lived under the domain of Satan; at work, I always encountered varieties of temptations and lures. For instance, when the leaders of some related departments inspected our enterprise, I couldn’t avoid going out to eat, drink, play and make merry together with them; some women who had thrown themselves on me previously would pester me, and so on. I finally triumphed over these temptations by depending on God, but I would still be robbed of all peace. In a word, under this vicious circumstance, all that one heard and saw were negative, so I often found it hard to practice God’s words. Each time I did something against God’s words and the truth, I would be judged by God’s words and be often sharply condemned in my conscience, feeling indebted to God. After some time, I would no more like to live this life where I acted as a two-faced man, whereupon I had the idea of departure from my uncle. Yet this idea was tossing all along in my mind, and I was between the devil and the deep blue sea: If I depart from my uncle, it means I’ll lose everything that I possess now—money, position, bountiful living condition and being exalted by many people—all of this is my self-worth. To lead a rich life, I have been working hard these years from dawn till dusk that I can achieve much today, which is not easy. If I give up all at once, isn’t my years of hard work in vain? Without money, it need not to be said that I may have a miserable life now, and how will all of my families live in the future? If I choose to stay here, I am in a painful plight every day and can’t satisfy God. After making plenty of money, I didn’t have happiness yet but had more sadness. But for the guidance of God’s words, I don’t know what extent I would have degenerated to. … I then hovered between leaving and staying. In a dilemma, I prayed to God, “God! Faced with such a circumstance, I don’t know what to do. I want to break away from this evil and corrupt circumstance very much, but I can’t overcome the temptation of money, thinking it hard for me to lead a poor life. I can’t decide whether I should go or stay. God! I am weak and in pain at present. May You give me confidence and will, leading me to make a proper decision.”
One day, I saw God’s words, “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of a peaceful family life, and you must not lose your life’s dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (“The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment”). God’s words gave me great faith, and what’s more, since I believed in God, He has led me with His words to learn to discern positive things from negative ones and has saved me from Satan’s evil and filthy encirclement, that I looked a little like how a real person should be. I thought: Relative to wealth, God’s word and the truth is the most valuable for me. Only the pursuit of gaining the truth, worshiping and knowing God is the most valuable and meaningful thing in my life. If I give up God’s salvation and live degenerately as before just for the temporary enjoyment of wealth, I will be devoured by Satan sooner or later. God does His last work of changing, purifying and saving man. Once the work of salvation comes to an end, He will punish the evil and reward the good, sending down disasters to destroy the evil, filthy and old world. What a pity to delay the opportunity for me to be saved because of my love of money! What I abandon now is money, but I’m walking on the right way of true human life! After understanding this, I resolved to leave here.
After not too long, over ten people died in a local coal mine as a result of a gas blast. The serious safety accident caused all the mine corporations to have to stop production and reorganize. I knew this chance was just the way that God had made out for me to leave, so I mustered up my courage to tell my uncle my idea of leaving. Regardless of how he persuaded me to stay, I steadfastly insisted on my decision, for I knew I could not live out a true life however much money I was capable of making and however well I enjoyed myself. Once I missed God’s salvation for man, I would definitely regret all my life. At last, when he saw my firm resolution, he had no choice but to leave.
God’s Loving Hand Saves Me As I Nearly Degenerated Again
During a long time after I left my uncle, I couldn’t find a suitable job or have as much money as before to buy whatever I wanted. This was no big deal. What made me tortured most was that when I, sometimes, saw my friends driving their nice cars and living the life of being exalted and flattered, while I was incapable of living so expansively as before, I felt a loss of face, feeling as if I was inferior to others without much money. For this reason, I was so tormented that I couldn’t help but think of the luxurious life in the past. Several months later, my uncle asked someone to tell me to go back. After I heard this news, my heart wavered back and forth, thinking: I will not leave God. Additionally, I then could live alone, and thus I could read God’s word as usual.
Beyond all of my expectations, however, to block me from believing in God, my uncle arranged me to live with a technician, who told me that my uncle had specially arranged the busiest task for me, leaving me almost no time or proper circumstance to read God’s words. On the third evening just when I was preparing for bed, I, who had been in good health all along, suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable: As soon as I turned off the light, my head would be very dizzy accompanied by nausea, feeling as if I was dying, which had never happened to me; yet as long as I turned on the light, that feeling would disappear. That repeated a couple of times. At that moment, I thought of God’s words, “That which you greedily enjoy today is the very thing that is ruining your future, whereas the pain you suffer today is the very thing that is protecting you. You must be clearly aware of these things, so as to avoid falling prey to temptations from which you will be hard put to extricate yourself, and to evade blundering into the dense fog and being unable to find the sun. When the dense fog clears, you will find yourself amid the judgment of the great day” (“The Work of Spreading the Gospel Is Also the Work of Saving Man”). God’s words awakened me. Thinking back to the past, I suffered most and almost ruined my family for the pursuit of money. I didn’t cherish God’s salvation for me, but returned to Satan’s camp for the purpose of enjoying a rich life and being spoken highly of, which led to a loss of the chance for me to read God’s words and worship Him. Had I not fallen into the scheme of Satan? Was I not wounding God’s heart? Was it not enough for me to be harmed by Satan? I was really muddled! I was truly without conscience! After understanding God’s will, I prayed to Him, “God! This situation that has befallen me is Your salvation for me. I know Your intention now. I am ready to leave this place. I beg You to lead me.” After praying, I saw God opened up a way out for me once again. When I couldn’t find a right man to take the place of me and was in a dilemma, a worker told me a guy nearby my village could do this work. Thereupon, I found him quickly, and unexpectedly he nodded without hesitation. Thus, I left smoothly. From this thing that God had manipulated for me, I had a further understanding of God’s good intentions: He didn’t have the heart to let me continue to degenerate, so He used His loving hand to save me. This time, I would resolutely satisfy God and never more betray the truth or God on account of being affected and bound by money!
Walking Onto the Bright Path of Human Life
Afterward, to keep our livelihood, I worked as a taxi driver. Although I was unable to earn much money, I could read God’s words every day, live the life of church and perform my duty as a creature from my work, which made me feel satisfied and enjoyable. Moreover, I had never expected that I could always see God’s blessings to me in my life. At about nine o’clock one morning, a constant customer called me and asked me to drive him to a place, but I refused him, for I was at a meeting with brothers and sisters. At about eleven o’clock, he called me again and I refused him a second time. After lunch, when I prepared to drive taxi to pick up passengers, I happened to meet that person. “Why are you still here?” I asked, surprised. He said with a smile, “I’m waiting for you.” His reply made me very amazed, for he had waited for four or five hours. I was quite sure that was God’s blessing to me. I satisfied God and He bestowed this special grace upon me. Another time, I was about to return after I had sent two sisters to our city when there were two persons who wanted to take my taxi to leave for my hometown. Thus I harvested two hundred yuan by accident. There were so many such pleasant amazements, too. From these blessings of God, I saw a fact: The riches are bestowed on man by God. From then onward, I had a steadfast belief: I’ll never be anxious about how to live a rich life, but only complete my duty in the presence of God; I’ll receive what God gives me later, more or less. Though my days are ordinary and simple now, my spirit is filled with security and peace. This allows me to truly understand that it is right and proper for man to believe in and worship God, which is the most meaningful and worthwhile thing. Thank God from the bottom of my heart for His leading me to walk onto the right way of human life. Glory be to God!
(The End)
Part One: Can Money Really Buy Happiness? (I)
